It was imperative to me that whomever I chose to share my life with feel the same way. Fortunately for me, he does! He truly is an amazing, loving and caring man and I know one day he will make an incredible dad! At times I am astounded at what a patient and genuinely kind and caring man he is - he truly is a gentleman. I know that whether we adopt a son or a daughter (or both!) they will be blessed beyond belief. I cannot imagine a better role model for a young man growing up, or a better example of how a many should treat a woman than "J". He has such an amazing heart! I am so blessed to share my life with him! (I will post more about what an incredible guy he is and why he would be an incredible father more in the near future, but I want to share more about our adoption journey here now.)
When we were first married, we knew we did not want to start our family immediately -we wanted to spend a couple of years getting to know each other and just having fun! We truly are best friends and love being together and sharing the little things. We lived overseas when we were first married. We had absolutely nothing - a borrowed bed, a freebie couch someone had given us, but we had a LOT of love. We used to do things together, like play cardgames (UNO), Trivial Pursuit, etc, go for walks on the German countryside, and just enjoy spending time together. We would drive to nearby villages, castles, festivals, etc., just to explore and share the experience. I think having those first few years together without children truly solidfied our relationship - we didn't have children to talk about - we just had each other. You often hear that people "stay together for the kids", but even if we would have a disagreement about something (which really was pretty rare because we are both pretty mellow/laidback people - and knew the other person didn't mean to upset the other person), we would have never ever considered divorce. We have always known that we have a very special love.
The first five/six years of marriage gave us time to truly get to know each other , enjoy each other's company and truly create a beautiful foundation of LOVE for our family. Then, few years ago, we decided that we had so much love for each other, wouldn't it be amazing to share this love with a child? We were more 'settled' and established and felt as if we were ready to share our lives and love with children. Life is such an amazing gift, with each day to be experienced and enjoyed - we want so much to be able to share our love, and God's love with a child. "J" and I both take such joy in the smallest/simplest things and want to teach a child to find joy in everything...to see God in everything. I think it is SOO incredibly important for a child to always know they are loved beyond belief and that no matter what happens in life they will always be loved, supported and ALWAYS have a 'soft place to land.'
We began to put the pieces into place to adopt a couple of years ago. Initially, since my husband grew up without a father and had no other biological family, we decided that while we started looking into adoption, we would also 'try' to conceive the good old fashioned way. I went to the doctor and did all of the things you are supposed to do before you knowing 'try' to get pregnant. I was taking prenatal vitamins, eating healthy, exercising, etc., but after several months of being off of birthcontrol and a couple of hospitalizations, it became evident that having a child the "old fashioned way" was not going to happen. The doctors suggested some other very invasive procedures, which could 'possibly' work. After a great deal of discussion and prayer, we decided that we did not wish to go that route. Perhaps this conviction to adopt, which I have had since I was a child, was God's way of preparing me for the fact that I may not be able to have children naturally... and surprisingly, we were both okay with that. We weren't disappointed, We weren't angry... We felt like it was confirmation of something we had known all along - our destiny was to grow our family through adoption. It is actually kind of exciting to be so certain of something so powerful and so beautiful.
We have spent most of the last two years since then preparing our home and life for a child. We bought a large home in the suburbs with a park down the street, in hopes of filling it with lots of little giggles, laughter, birthday parties, dress-up parties and team parties, etc. We bought a 'sensible' family car which would easily accomodate a carseat, with all of the safety-ratings, etc. We even began to evaluate EVERY purchase from a "is it kid-friendly?" perspective. We have had hundreds of hours of conversations about how our life will change when we do have a child, but we cannot wait!!
The holidays last year were very tough for both of us. We both LOVE the holidays and go 'all-out', decorating, getting a fresh tree, trimming the tree, singing to Christmas carols, etc., but this year, there was a hint of sadness to it. We wanted so much to share the fun, joy, excitement and TRUE meaning of Christmas with a child. Remembering the joy and excitement we felt as a child made us want to share our own traditions with a child(ren) even more. Since the holidays are all about Family to us, we decided to fly some of our family out here for Christmas. First it was my Mom & Dad, then my Sister and then we flew my kid brother and his girlfriend out too. We wanted to share this special time with people so special to us - and it was WONDERFUL, but we still felt the sadness and emptyness of not having our own child to share it with. "J" and I decided then that we would start this process and work towards making this dream of adoption a reality.
So, I have been contacting facilitators, attorneys, agencies, homestudy agencies, etc., to TRULY begin the process. We would like to have a child before the holidays this year, but we realize it is quite a stretch, since it is such a long process, but we are ready for whatever it brings our way. The information from all of these sources could be overwhelming, but we will be going to get our fingerprints and background check initiated in the next two weeks, then we meet with a social worker to complete our homestudy two weeks after that...SOooooooooo... The journey has begun. Please wish us luck and keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We have no doubt this will continue to be an emotional and at times difficult rollercoaster-of-a-ride experience, but we can't wait! Anything worth the effort, is worth the work to accomplish it. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we take this truly life-changing journey.
So, as I end my very first post, if you or anyone you know is pregnant and considering adoption, please provide them with our blogger info and leave a comment here. More to come soon - including pictures and posts from "J". Thank You for stopping by and taking the time to read this!! God Bless!